You Are Not Your Bank Balance: Reclaiming Mental Well-being

Financial insecurity can negatively affect our sleep and nutrition and cause social isolation. All of these take a toll on our mental health. Michele Mahr, Ph.D., assistant professor at the TTUHSC School of Health Professions Clinical Rehabilitation Counseling department of clinical counseling and mental health, is out guest expert for this episode. Dr. Mahr emphasizes the importance of open communication about financial stress with families and relationships. She also advices seeking professional help when financial stress significantly impacts our mental health and daily functioning. Dr. Mahr encourages that we exercise and try positive affirmations to help reduce stress, but emphasizes the importance of being authentic and identifying with ourselves rather than seeking external validation through things.

Transcript

Melissa Whitfield  0:10 
Hello and welcome back to Texas Tech Health Check from Texas Tech University Health Sciences Center. I'm your host, Melissa Whitfield. We want you to get healthy and stay healthy with help from evidence based advice from our physicians, healthcare providers and researchers. Money problems, most of us have them. But what should we do when financial stress starts to affect our mental health? Michelle Mahr, Assistant Professor in the School of Health Professions, Clinical Rehabilitation Counseling, Department of Clinical Counseling and Mental Health is our expert for this episode. Dr Mahr explains why financial insecurity creates such a strong emotional response and how it affects our mental and physical health. She also talks to us about how we can talk to our partners and our children about financial stress in a way that doesn't cause harm to us or to them. And finally, Dr Mahr gives us tips on what habits we can start today to reduce financial stress.

Melissa Whitfield  1:28 
Dr Mahr, welcome to our podcast.

Michelle Mahr  1:30 
Hello. Thanks for having me.

Melissa Whitfield  1:32 
How are you today?

Michelle Mahr  1:33 
I'm doing great. How about yourself?

Melissa Whitfield  1:34 
I'm doing really well. Thank you very much for asking. So can you tell us a little bit about yourself, your expertise and what you do for the Health Sciences Center.

Michelle Mahr  1:42 
Sure, so I'm Dr Michelle Mahr, and I'm an assistant professor here in the Clinical Rehabilitation Counseling Program at TTUHSC, and my PhD is in Rehabilitation Psychology, and my focus research interests substance abuse and addiction health promotion and positive psychology.

Melissa Whitfield  2:03 
Well, again, welcome to our podcast.

Michelle Mahr  2:05 
Thank you.

Melissa Whitfield  2:06 
Today you're here to talk to us though about finances, financial insecurity and how that affects our mental health. Does financial insecurity, or the lack of money in the past, in the present, or possibly in the future that we might be worried about, does that affect our mental health and why does it create such a strong emotional response?

Michelle Mahr  2:26 
Yeah, so what I find is that the biggest barrier with mental health and financial insecurity would be stigma, and the societal stigma specifically, so definitely, absolutely, financial insecurity affects mental health and also the self stigma too. So there's like a part of an individual that identifies very much with financial success. So I think one of the barriers, especially in today's society, is that people's identity goes back to power, success, financial, a lot of consumerism. And so I think that's primarily the biggest adversity for individuals that are in low income situations or socioeconomic class status that is not reaching comparable to their peers or colleagues.

Melissa Whitfield  3:21 
What are some signs that financial stress is affecting someone's mental or physical health?

Michelle Mahr  3:27 
Yeah, so I think this goes back to the previous question, that because there is that strong emotional response of, who am I, and what does that look like in the world, how to identify and so what can happen is, if someone is struggling with a financial hardship, or, in general, a situation that may not be forever, but at this time, they're struggling financially, a lot of times a lack of sleep. So it's your basic health, I would say, like the wellness wheel when you're thinking about sleep, nutrition, exercise, social support, all of those factors and those domains begin to decline, not always. Sometimes they can be, you know, an individual who is doing great with sleep and exercise, but perhaps they stop eating for a little bit of time, or their their appetite is up and down, or their connections. This is a really significant sign. Is when you see someone who's very, I would say, extroverted and outgoing and always connecting with their peers or friends, and then all of a sudden, there's a significant decline in that so a lot of self isolation. And what I'd like to say about that is sometimes that self isolation is coming back to, who am I without my financial status, which is really heartbreaking when you think about like someone who's so connected to that. And you know, there's all different stigmas as far as, does money always mean success? Does you know? What does financial security really look like? And I think this comes back to when a person is so connected to that identity, and if it's not where it should be, or if they're comparing then again, sleep, diet, nutrition, social support, and then also individuals that a lot of times we connect with people in the same class level, and that's including SES, socioeconomic status. So if you think about it, if someone is struggling financially, all of a sudden they're not going to connect with those those peers anymore, or they are embarrassed. Maybe they would connect, but, but in their mind, they were that was, they were my people, right? And now, all of a sudden, I don't meet those expectations. So I think that can also be a huge, you know, red flag that someone's struggling.

Melissa Whitfield  5:59 
How does it affect relationships with those around us, especially children? And how can we talk to children or our partners about financial stress?

Michelle Mahr  6:09 
Yeah, so I think that that ties in a little bit with the previous question just about social relationships in general. But I think when it comes to familial relationships, it's something that especially with children, I think helping parents to teach their children the value of money and what that looks like and how the consumerism does not help them to identify with who they are, because they're such a you know, they're not, they're still developing. So if you think about a 10 year old, especially in today's world with social media, and that's a whole nother topic, but it definitely impacts children and how they can connect with others, because if they don't meet those, oh, well, everyone else has it. I don't have an iPad or I, you know, a phone at at seven or six, or whatever. I think, I think that really, it starts to destroy their their self concept, like, who am I? Because I don't meet, I don't fit in with everybody else, and that is much different as an adult versus an, you know, an adolescent, or, you know, even younger, where they're still growing and developing. They don't have the brain prefrontal cortex is still developing in the brain to analyze, well, it's okay that I don't have that X, Y and Z, I'm still a good person, like they're not going to think that. However they can think that when you have parents and that support for the parent to be a role model and to help them to start to break that down. What does that look like if I'm kind of shunned away because I don't have the best brand, you know, the top brand clothes or something, I think what happens a lot of times is children do not get that parental guidance, or they don't even tell their parents it's not the parents fault, and then they don't know what to do with it, so they start to process that. Like, what can I do to get for people to like me? I mean, you see that all the time. So again, connecting it back to not just parents and adults, but children. Like, how do I identify? What does that look like? What's important to me? So I think just having parents be really open and mindful and very aware to what's happening can be a huge factor in how can we help our children to recognize that having the best of everything is not, you know, is not number one, right? There's more more about life. So I think that, hopefully that answered the question. But yeah, I think that and then helping, as far as relationships, also in, you know, partnerships and marriages and familial relationships, again, coming back to just feeling comfortable in your own skin. So a lot of times when I was in the field as a clinician, I would work with clients to be their authentic self, and what does that look like and and how does that feel to not have the mask, and I have to live up to these, you know, keeping up with the Jones Jones's and everything's perfect, because a lot of times that's not the truth, right? Although social media definitely shows that, I think that helping clients or individuals to just be who they are and then, and then, if people accept them for who they are, awesome and and if not, then they're not your people. That's how I always like would frame it, but it's hard to get people to see that, to be who they are without all the masks and the consumerism.

Melissa Whitfield  9:43 
Well, there's still stigma around mental health, and there's also one when it talks, when it comes to talking about financial problems, because, as you said, so tied to our identity. How can we talk about it in a healthy way to help reduce the stigma, especially when it seems. Things like, as you mentioned in social media, everybody else is happy and successful.

Michelle Mahr  10:05 
Yeah. So I think, I think the first approach is to decrease the stigma of mental health in general. So we, we've moved a long way from mental health and therapy and counseling is not a bad thing, right? So, I mean, it's still there a little bit, but in general, I think we've progressed quite a bit where people feel at least a little more comfortable seeking out for a therapist and then to recognize that if there is financial stress that, okay, that is an issue. And I think a lot of times people think, Well, everybody's got money problems, right? Like the whole world, everything's expensive, like you hear it all and all. So I'll get to that point too. Is I'm such a fan of the verbiage and the words that we speak really help people to connect with that, that mental imagery. So if we're constantly talking about everything is so expensive, I'll never find housing, the taxes like everything that happens, I think that people start to feed into that, and that is very contagious. So I always when I am working with clients or talking to people in general about financial stress, helping them to reframe, okay, let's focus on the positives. What do you have? Your basic needs are being met for some individuals, and if not, how can we get those basic needs met? Because that's not something that it should be earned. You deserve that so. So helping them to realize that sometimes I think people, especially, you know, I've worked with individuals that have dealt with homelessness, and they just didn't even realize that that their basic needs aren't being met, like you need housing and health care and and that's okay that we're in the situation, but what are we going to do about it? I think that's like a huge turning point is when they can recognize. Again, coming back to that awareness, self awareness, being mindful that this is not okay. And now, what do we do about it? Like there's always at least, how I look at it is, I'm very solution focused. So again, helping individuals to come back to the resources and to recognize, to answer the second part of that question is social media. And just be very to be very transparent, which I am, that's not that how it is. A lot of that is staged, you know, to just kind of, let's not sugarcoat it. A lot of times, people post a lot of the great things. I also have seen a huge shift in a lot of individuals influencers that are posting real things too. And so I like that as a you know, as a counselor, I look at what is happening with social media, and I do see a lot of more raw, real videos on top of or post. So I think sometimes that can help. In general, I think individuals have to step back and just recognize that, you know, every you can't compare, right? We don't know. You don't know what's going on behind the scenes. So I don't know if that that helps.

Melissa Whitfield  13:24 
Yes, it does.

Michelle Mahr  13:25 
Okay.

Melissa Whitfield  13:25 
Is there a healthy way to worry about financial uncertainty or insecurity, and how does someone prepare for a change in lifestyle such as downsizing or moving back in with their parents or relatives?

Michelle Mahr  13:40 
Okay, so I think to answer the first part, I think there is a healthy way to, I wouldn't say worry, but to be concerned. I don't think that's bad. I think recognizing if there is a financial crisis, you know, or they may lose a job or something. I think it's really, really empowering for individuals to say, I'm financially secure, so to not recognize that I think can be detrimental and can individuals can take a couple steps back if they're just kind of like whatever, right? I think that that's, we don't want to be negligent, that that's, that's not reality. So I think there is some really strong comfort, especially if you're the breadwinner of the family or a single, you know, parent, I think that is or just by yourself, to know that I'm okay, so to ignore your finances, not not a good deal, right? And I also think that that's just not being proactive, right to think about your future and financial planning, I think has a lot of comfort too, even if individuals will reach out and have a financial advisor like a consultation, and it's free, it might be 30 minutes, but that step really does make individuals feel like, wow, I'm starting to take control of what do I have control over? I think that's also what it comes back to. And then the second part, how can someone prepare again? I think, like resources always thinking about, okay, what do I have control over? Perhaps there is a move that's coming in a couple months, or someone's going to lose their employment, what does that look like? And again, just saying, there's always a solution, you just might have to be a little more creative. I think that really brings the anxiety down, because it is back to even the first question. It is really stressful to think about someone losing their job or their home or a different lifestyle, and it also, I think you can again, I'm a positive psychologist, so I seem to always like, lean to that, not toxic positivity, but individuals. Well, this is an opportunity. That's what I would, you know, okay, it's an opportunity to create something new. What can we do with this instead of, yeah, it's adversity. There's going to be challenges, but what's going to come out of this and the other end, and I think just reframing that and helping individuals to change their thought process into this is, yeah, it's a challenge. I'm going to get through it, building mental toughness, resiliency. I've seen so many clients that are really resilient, and it's because they were financially impoverished when they were younger, and they had to figure it out, they had to figure out how to survive. And now they're, they're definitely able to overcome, its resiliency. So I think there is a little bit of, I don't want to say a good thing about being financially insecure. But you know what I mean? Like, you can, you can look at it like, okay, what am I going to get out of this? That's what I think.

Melissa Whitfield  16:49 
When should someone seek professional help for their mental health?

Michelle Mahr  16:53 
I think, I think when an individual really is being honest with themselves that they're not okay. So a lot of times, the individuals will mask it, because they'll just go about their day, even though they know they're not right and that, and I'm what I mean by that is like the lack back to the other question. The first one, lack of sleep, not really wanting to talk to anyone, perhaps not doing their normal exercise routine, or their coping mechanism may be substance use and addiction. So that's very common. Financial stress can lead to a substance use disorder very fast. And if you think about it, that also can be, you know, backwards too, where the substance use disorder leads to the financial distress, but I think that would be a huge red flag, and then being honest, like I said with themselves, that, okay, I need someone else to figure this out for me, like I don't feel myself, and that's everyone's threshold, is going to be very different. But I always think about knowing myself, right? So, you know, some individuals, they may be able to handle a little bit more stress, financial stress, than others, and that kind of like I had mentioned before. If an individual is highly resilient and has been through many challenges, many obstacles, sure, they may feel a little bit off. If they're they lose their job, but they're still, they still have the tools and the healthy coping mechanisms to not have to seek professional help, or they might have a really strong social support system. Other individuals may not have any of that. So I'm always thinking, okay, where is that fine line that you do need to seek out help? And that varies. I've, you know, I've seen clients that absolutely within, within two weeks of a crisis, of some sort of financial distress, they need to talk to someone, and then other clients where they have, you know, more of a, I guess, like an internal social support, yeah.

Melissa Whitfield  19:04 
What is one simple habit that someone can start today to reduce their financial stress?

Michelle Mahr  19:09 
Hmm, that's such a good question. Can I say a couple?

Melissa Whitfield  19:13 
Sure.

Michelle Mahr  19:14 
Okay, so I think exercise, and I don't mean that they have to go run a marathon, I mean, move their body. So there's a lot of research in neuroscience and health promotion that when someone just moves, and that could be a short walk a day, breath work, connecting the mind and the body can reduce anxiety tremendously. So if someone is experiencing a financial distress situation, I always encourage them to connect with their body too, because that's going to help their mind. Right? The mind and body are so connected. So and self awareness, I think that's a huge part of recognizing do I need to seek help like you had mentioned or asked earlier, what can I do? What am I in control of? But the first step is to just stop and really be mindful and authentic and honest with yourself if you're not feeling good, and then what are you going to do about it? So I think I mean a lot of times I encourage clients to do positive affirmations, journaling, 10 minutes, just sitting in nature. I think all of those can help them to kind of come back to being more grounded about not over catastrophizing what is happening, not to minimize it, but also there's a solution. But when you're in the midst of chaos, stress and turmoil, and you feel like your whole world just collapsed, if you lose an employment that's really hard to find those things. So I help them to kind of just step back and say, okay, where are we at? You know, take a few deep breaths or and again, like, if there is something where this is an ongoing financial stressful situation, they can still take a walk every day, right? And it's free. You don't have to join because that's I've heard that too well, I don't have money to join a gym, okay? Go for a walk. It's free. So things like that. I think that's what I always try and think about, like healthy coping mechanisms that will not cost them anything, because the minute you mention that, if somebody's having financial hardship, it is, it's not going to fly. So that's, hopefully that help. Yeah.

Melissa Whitfield  21:36 
Is there anything else that you'd like to add?

Michelle Mahr  21:40 
I just think that really, people have to identify with themselves, be authentic, and then just help them. I hope that we can come to a place where we're not so dependent on external validation. I think there's so much pressure now for children, adults, everyone to get validated that they're successful, but it all comes from within. So I always like help client or I try to talk to people, to it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. Like, if you're feeling good with who you are and you're at peace with who you are, I think that that's a tremendous way to like live a fulfilling life, regardless of the financial situations that a lot of times we have no control over. Yeah.

Melissa Whitfield  22:28 
Well, thank you so much for coming on our podcast and talking to us about this. This was really great. Thank you.

Michelle Mahr  22:33 
Okay, thank you.

Melissa Whitfield  22:34 
Can't wait to have you back.

Melissa Whitfield  22:37 
Thanks for listening to Texas Tech Health Check. Make sure to subscribe or follow wherever you listen to podcasts, this information is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice. Always seek immediate medical advice from your physician or your health care provider for questions regarding your health or medical condition. Texas Tech Health Check is brought to you by Texas Tech University Health Sciences Center and produced by TR Castillo, Suzanna Cisneros, Mark Hendricks, Krystal Meazell, Kay Williams and me, Melissa Whitfield.